Entries tagged with “LGBT” from Trans-cendental

I originally posted this on Pam's House Blend

So we now have several states where we can get married.

It's time we start thinking about how to have good, healthy same-sex marriages.

I am no expert, but my partner and I (we've had a Holy Union and are hoping to take an out-of-state nuptial trip next year) have been together for over two decades. I'm going to share what we've learned, and hope some others will share as well.

Progressive churches need to build up support for all families, not just the most common constructions.

(More after the page break. If you're reading this on a mirrored site like community.ucc.org or facebook.com, click the title to see the rest)

Thanks for the birth
And the feeding, and bathing, and changing
And the teaching, and loving
And the worry about my transition
And the eventual acceptance of who I am
And the worry about who I loved
And the acceptance of her into the family
And the worry about my future in the church

I know it is all because you love and care for me.

I love you, Mom.

I'm rarely this eloquent, but every once in a while I accidentally say something I feel is worth repeating. The following is from a post I made on a United Church of Christ discussion board:

Marriage isn't a piece of paper issued by the government. That paper is legal recognition of a marriage.

Marriage isn't a piece of paper signed by a pastor and/or issued by a church. That paper is a religious recognition of a marriage.

Marriage is a covenant between two adult people to care for, nurture, and love each other. Alone, this is still marriage. Without this, no piece of paper can hold two people together.

True, marriage is a legal term in the United States of America, and clergy cannot legally say they are marrying two people unless the state authorizes it. But Adam and Eve, and Cain and his wife, and Seth and his wife, were all married without church or state.

Neither the church, nor state, can prohibit marriage between two people. All they can do is fail to recognize when it happens.

I attempted to register for a class at Northern Baptist Seminary.

The seminary I attend, Chicago Theological Seminary (CTS), is part of the Association of Chicago Theological Schools (ACTS), which "was formed in 1984 by twelve theological schools located in the Chicago area to provide means for cooperation among the member institutions in the areas of student cross-registration, library access and acquisitions, interchange among faculty members in the disciplines of theological education, and communications between the schools."  - http://www.actschicago.org/index.html

Students at ACTS schools may register at other ACTS schools:

Available to the approximately 3,000 students currently enrolled at its member schools are 400 faculty, about 900 courses offered annually, and library collections of 1.7 million volumes and nearly 5,000 currently received periodical subscriptions.
   - http://www.actschicago.org/index.html

Except, in the case of at least one school, if you're gay.

Now, granted, there is a stated exception:

Exceptions to the process of cross-registration exist (1) during the summer term when tuition is normally paid to the school offering the course; (2) for D.Min. courses other than Pastoral Care and Counseling and for those students in the ACTS D.Min. in Preaching Program; and (3) in certain courses with limited enrollment. Each school in ACTS reserves the right to limit enrollment in certain courses for pedagogical reasons and to set its own policies for the admission of students from other schools to such courses.
 - http://www.actschicago.org/catalog2009/cat06.html#how, emphases mine.

I attempted to cross-register for a class at Northern Baptist Seminary (which has the awesome domain name of seminary.edu). I was aware that the seminary was more conservative, and I did not expect it to be easy to take a class there. But I was willing to sit with far more conservative students in a far more conservative school, in part to keep from having my graduation date from being pushed back another two years, and in part because I do not want to be estranged from my more conservative brothers and sisters in Christ.

I didn't want to go stealthily into the seminary for several reasons. First, I am not ashamed of who I am, nor the path taken to get here. While I don't advertise my sexual orientation or transgender history to everyone, I don't take steps to hide these parts of my life either. To do so is to walk in shadow, and I prefer to be in the light.

Second, to hide an aspect of one's life can result in feelings of betrayal should the secret be found out. It is damaging to a relationship when trust is broken: witness what happened with Ted Haggard.

Third, even if the secret is never found out (unlikely as a simple web search will find enough information about me), keeping a secret from those with whom one is in relationship creates an inauthentic, dysfunctional, and, dare I say it, sinful relationship.

So, to be as honest and authentic as possible in my relationship to the class, I sent e-mail to the professor teaching the class. I explained my background (Evangelical Free, Bible Students, Universal Fellowship of Metropolitan Community Churches, and United Church of Christ), my school affiliation (CTS), and my sexual orientation and transgender history. I asked for advice on what I could do to make the situation easier for everyone involved.

I did not expect the culture clash to be easy. I also did not expect, however, to be rejected from taking any classes whatsoever.

My e-mail to the instructor was apparently forwarded to the administration who, in a very polite but firm e-mail, explained to me that the school's admission policy is applied to cross-registered students. The seminary, in their catalog, under code of conduct, states:

In matters related to homosexuality:

1. Northern will not knowingly admit as a student any person having a homosexual lifestyle.

2. If, without the knowledge of the Admissions Committee, a person is admitted to the Seminary and is found not to be a practicing homosexual, but to be striving to overcome homosexual tendencies, such a person will, in Christian love, be counseled to obtain the best help available so that with the power of God such a person may overcome the problem.

3. If, without the knowledge of the Admissions Committee, a practicing homosexual is found to have been admitted to the Seminary, when such knowledge is discovered, such said practicing homosexual would be counseled to seek education elsewhere and to enter some other vocation, and failing voluntary withdrawal from Northern, would be disallowed to continue at the Seminary.

4. In no case would the Seminary recommend for ordination or for ministry any practicing homosexual or an advocate of a homosexual lifestyle.

5. Congruent with its policy of institutional integrity, Northern Baptist Seminary will not hire a practicing homosexual or an advocate of a homosexual lifestyle, and it reserves the right to dismiss from employment any such person on the grounds that it would conflict with the purpose of the institution.
- http://www.seminary.edu/about/PDFs/Seminary%20Catalog%202008-2009%20Revised.pdf

This means they are reinterpreting the ACTS policy to say:

Each school in ACTS reserves the right to limit enrollment in all courses for pedagogical reasons and to set its own policies for the admission of students from other schools to all courses.

This in order to prevent any homosexuals from taking any courses at their school, ever.

Northern Baptist may believe my twenty-one year relationship with my spouse to be sinful and unChristian. They may believe my transition, twenty-five years ago, to living as my identified gender to be a violation of Deuteronomy 22:5.

They may well object to my behavior off school grounds, but they were not going to change that by rejecting my cross-registration. They can't make me a straight white male again by denying me the chance to study with their professor and students.

So exactly what is sinful or harmful about my taking a class at their school? Exactly what is made worse by my presence there?

At their school, I'm certainly going to hear about their viewpoint on homosexuality and transgender issues - especially since the class I was going to take was on the Pentateuch, which includes Leviticus and Deuteronomy. Were they afraid that I would rebut the reading of the few verses applied to homosexuals as they were glossing over the dietary laws, mixing of fabrics, wearing of tassels, uncleanness of women during their periods and after giving birth, trimming of beards, and the Jubilee year? Were they concerned that I would point out that Levitical law says nothing about Lesbian relationships? Did they worry that I would point out that the word "know" in Genesis 19:5 is the same as the word "know" in Genesis 18:19? (I really wasn't planning on it.)

And, perhaps more to the point, how is this following Jesus' example? Did Jesus teach only the holy? Did Jesus not teach prostitutes, lepers, tax collectors, Samaritans, Syrophoenicians, Roman soldiers, and (at the cross) thieves and murderers?

I am disappointed that Northern Baptist Seminary chose to not honor its covenant with the Association of Chicago Theological Schools.

I am also sad that sixty faculty and staff are more afraid of me than I am of them.

How much longer should we wait for gay, Lesbian, bisexual, and transgender people to be able to serve honorably in the military?

"These things take time", we are told. In the 1990's William Jefferson Clinton talked about lifting the ban, but instead settled on a compromise that requires dishonesty. "Don't Ask, Don't Tell, Don't Pursue" has become "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" as the military aggressively removes people from service because they were at a Pride event or posted something on a website.

Nearly two decades later, people are still being separated from service because of who they are rather than how they perform as soldiers. This is an unacceptable way to treat these brave individuals who voluntarily serve our country by putting their lives on the line. This is an unacceptable way to treat those people with whom they serve by breaking up teams that have worked together for months or years. This is an unacceptable way to treat Americans who rely on these trained individuals to protect them.

How much longer should we wait? This change is past due. Every second of delay is merely adding to the tardiness of the required action.

The President has said it requires legislative action, and Harry Reid has said the President should take action. They're both right. The President should take action immediately to protect our soldiers by suspending action under "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" while the Congress immediately moves to pass legislation that prevents the military from using sexual orientation or gender identity as criteria for removing servicemembers.

Now.

Today.

This hour.

This minute.

The lives of GLBT soldiers depend on it.
The lives of all soldiers depend on it.
The lives of all Americans depend on it.

1.Full civil rights for lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender individuals must be enacted now.  Delay and excuses are no longer acceptable.

 - The Dallas Principals

Yes, you read that correctly.

April 23, there was a genderqueer celebration at Chicago Theological Seminary. There was also an auction - a fundraiser for "top surgery" for an FTM seminarian.

It was an evening of prayer, drag performances, music, and personal testimonies.

There were at least three trangender seminarians in attendance, and many other LGB seminarians and seminary faculty and staff, not to mention straight-but-supportive seminarians, faculty, and staff.

Most of the big-ticket (read $400-700) auction items went to faculty and staff.

For every heavily funded institution like Bob Jones University, there is a liberal seminary like CTS struggling to prepare progressive religious leaders.

They can use your support.

Ten years ago today, Mary and I promised ourselves to each other in Holy Union in a church in Oak Park, IL.  Twenty years ago,  we met in a bar named Suzy B.'s in Chicago. In those two decades, we dealt with a lot of things:

On a Christian denominational discussion board, a person who is gay said

the Christian church is the stated enemy of the gay community

and a person who is clergy in that denomination said

Or do you mean the gay community is the stated enemy of many Christian churches, the UCC & MCC excluded, at least. 

Which got me thinking:

"What might it look like if someone wanted to treat Christians the way gay people are treated?"

(Crossposted on Pam's House Blend)

A friend of mine changed his Facebook status to "...lost his fundamental civil rights today."

This got me thinking: Can we lose our fundamental civil rights?

I thought about the Declaration of Independence:

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness. — That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed,

 Please note that the founders did not say the government created these rights, only secured the rights people already had.

There is also the ninth amendment to the US Constitution:

Amendment 9 - Construction of Constitution. Ratified 12/15/1791. The enumeration in the Constitution, of certain rights, shall not be construed to deny or disparage others retained by the people.

So can a law or constitutional amendment remove a person's rights?

I don't even think there is an L community, a G community, a B community, or a T community. There are too many layers of class and empowerment in each group to consider any one of them a community.

There are homeless gay youth who turn tricks to survive. There are rich closeted men who pay them. Are they part of the same community?

There are "heterosexual crossdressers only" organizations. There are people taking black market hormones and getting silicone injections. Are they part of the same community?

I find it hard to believe in community when I read about, and hear, comments like:

• (by a gay man about transsexuals)Men in women's bathrooms.
• (by lesbians about mtf transsexuals)A man in a dress is not a lesbian.
• (by gay men)Women are taking over the HIV/AIDS organizations.
• (by crossdressers)I'm not confused like a transsexual.
• (about crossdressers) I'm not a man in a dress.
• (by heterosexual crossdressers)No homosexuals allowed

not to mention the unspoken contempt between the classes.

While we're saying "were the same as everyone else", we betray our real feelings by declaring ourselves different from each other.

It's not bad enough that there are a bunch of us locked outside the big tent that calls itself "normal". We have to divide ourselves up into smaller camps of "more normal than thou". And, by exploiting our divisions, those who control access to the big tent will continue to keep us out.

Some very well-meaning hearing people believe that people, especially children, who can't hear should have surgery to help them hear - if such surgery is available. After all, Jesus healed the deaf too.

I know some Deaf people. The capital-D Deaf people I know aren't interested in cochlear implants; they don't want to be fixed because they don't feel broken.

So who is right? The hearing people I mentioned in the first paragraph are with Jesus: we should make the deaf to hear.

The Deaf people in the second paragraph have their own language and culture, and bring up their Deaf children to communicate through sign. They don't see the need to change who they are.


I was thinking about my Deaf friends this morning when reading the Discussing Homosexuality thread. True, there are arguments about whether people are born gay or not. But the parallels are interesting: people who are not [deaf, homosexual] want to fix the people who are [deaf, homosexual] so they won't be [deaf, homosexual] anymore - they will be healed and normal.

One might argue that deafness is not called a sin in the Bible - but indeed some see staying in deafness to be sinful ([url=http://pilgrimandastranger.blogspot.com/2006/10/you-shall-not-curse-deaf-or-put.html]read here[/url]). And while Jesus didn't heal the homosexuals (or indeed say anything about them that was recorded), He did make the deaf to hear.


Why is it that we (and I include myself here, because I often find myself thinking this way) "normal" people want to make decisions for others to make them more like us? Should we make the little people grow? Should we have stunted the growth of tall people? Should we make the picky eaters eat more things? Where does our intervention in the lives of others end?

Perhaps the example is in the story of Jesus and the paralytic. Jesus is in a house that is so crammed with people looking for healing that the door is blocked. One man's friends are so bent on getting him healed that they lower him through the roof. Jesus responds by saying "your sins are forgiven".

We can think of sin as a lot of things, but in a large way sin is the difference between being in relationship and being out of relationship. When we sin against God, we damage our end of that relationship. Likewise, when we sin against our fellow human beings, we damage or break our ties with them.

Jesus's first response to the paralytic was not "your body is fixed". His first response was "your sin is forgiven". Jesus restored the man to society. Of course, the local religious leaders didn't like the idea of this human going around forgiving sin, and Jesus responds by healing the man's paralysis.

But it wasn't the ability to walk that the paralytic man most needed; it was being restored to society. He needed to be a part of the human family again. Without that, the ability to walk would have only made him a walking outcast.


I know that sometimes I want so badly to fix the thing I see wrong with a person. I need to remember that what I most need to fix are the relationships between me and others. I could say "love the Deaf, hate the deafness". But if I really love my Deaf friends, I will embrace them as they are, and not with an asterisk to a footnote about one aspect of their lives. I might not want to lose my hearing, but it's not for me to say that hearing is the best way for them.


He who has ears, let him hear.

I'm really tired of settling. I'm not interested in incremental rights. I'm not willing to support a candidate who talks out of both sides of his - or her - mouth, speaking on one hand of "protecting marriage" from gays and at the same time "supporting gay and lesbian people" with domestic partnerships or civil unions.

When Tyra Hunter was 24 years old, she was riding in a car in Washington, D.C. Her car was broadsided by another car. She was knocked unconscious due to the collision, but regained consciousness by the time emergency crews arrived. She was still dazed and had respiration problems because some of her teeth had been knocked into her airway.The paramedics went to work on Tyra, but in assessing the injuries they discovered she had male genitals.

At this point, one of the caregivers said "This ain't no bitch. It's a nigger. He's got a dick and balls." The paramedics ceased treating Tyra and instead laughed and joked about her while onlookers demanded they get back to work on her.

Later, after treating another injured passenger, other emergency workers found Tyra gagging and trying to move away from the insulting paramedics. Finally, a supervisor demanded that her airway be cleared.

In addition to these insults and lack of care, she was received at the hospital as "John Doe", given a contraindicated medication, and was not given blood that had been ordered for her. She died from lack of oxygen in her blood.

This is the kind of health care some transgender persons can expect. Value judgments can override common decency and mercy - and the basic job requirements. Amazingly, the District of Columbia defended the paramedics on the basis of their first amendment rights to free speech.

Time and again, I come back to what Jesus taught about how we treat others: "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you". "Love your neighbor as yourself" . The parable of the Good Samaritan, in which the person who acted as a neighbor to a victimized person was the one who didn't even get along with people of his kind. The parable of the sheep and the goats, where Jesus says that as you do to others, you do to him.

And yet, this is what we can expect from some of the people who choose a career in caring for others.

This is not how to do health care.

This is not how to do emergency care.

This is not how to be a Christian.

This is not how to be a human being.

Whatever one's opinion of transgender people, they are people. There is no excuse for allowing people to suffer while we laugh.

My prayer is that the paramedics learn to care for all others, and that they do not need to experience what Tyra did in order to learn it. I would not wish that on my enemies - because I love them.


Trial notes: http://www.gpac.org/im/tyra/tyindex.html



Remembering our dead: http://www.gender.org/remember/.
Transgender Day of Remembrance is November 20.

John said to him, “Teacher, we saw someone casting out demons in your name, and we tried to stop him, because he was not following us.” But Jesus said, “Do not stop him; for no one who does a deed of power in my name will be able soon afterward to speak evil of me. Whoever is not against us is for us. For truly I tell you, whoever gives you a cup of water to drink because you bear the name of Christ will by no means lose the reward."

- Mark 9:38-41

Sometimes we forget to recognize that we're more alike than we are different. Sometimes we let differences in one area keep us from working together in another.

But not Friends Congregational UCC in College Station, Texas. Even though many of the churches that worked with Prison Fellowship were critical of gay and Lesbian persons, this Open and Affirming (OnA) congregation did not let this get in the way of participating in Prison Fellowship's Angel Tree program, which purchased gifts for children of inmates. Though they didn't agree on the sanctity of same-sex relationships, Friends Congregational realized that had nothing to do with helping children at Christmas. They believed in offering hope to kids whose only fault was having a parent who was convicted and imprisoned.

Unfortunately, after several years of participation, Prison Fellowship removed them from the program.

Prison Fellowship specifically refused to allow Friends Congregational UCC to continue to participate in a program to help imprisoned adults offer Christmas gifts to their children because Friends Congregational UCC is Open and Affirming of gay and Lesbian people.

The Rev. Dan De Leon, pastor of Friends Congregational, said the regional office of Prison Fellowship told him that, because the church belongs to the UCC's "Open and Affirming" program, it would not be allowed to participate in the Angel Tree program.

A Senior Vice President of Prison Fellowship said that, out of 12,000 participating churches, only a few congregations have been disqualified, usually due to doctrine on creation or homosexuality.

I doubt the kids - who would not have known which churches were involved, much less the churches' doctrine - would have cared.

"Whoever is not against us is for us. For truly I tell you, whoever gives you a cup of water to drink because you bear the name of Christ will by no means lose the reward."

References:

• http://www.ucc.org/news/church-in-texas-excluded-from.html
• http://uccforums.com/viewtopic.php?f=7&t=4037
  

So the candidates were asked when children should be told about homosexuality. In programs like "It's Elementary", we're not talking about telling kids to be gay, or how to have gay sex. We're talking about different relationships. The fact is that there are kids who have same-sex parents - and it's good to teach kids to not beat up on the ones with same-sex parents, just as it's good to teach them to not beat up on children of divorced parents.

But the way some talk about tolerance, it would seem that it is the worst form of child abuse.

And isn't learning about other people a big part of elementary education? I remember learning about the people of Pompeii and about Umskikuk the Eskimo in Social Studies class. Learning about different people - and to not hate or be afraid of them - is an important part of growing up. After learning to respect people who are different, (we hope) adults will be less likely to attack people based on differences.
 
Of course, some people are afraid that such programs indoctrinate children into a lifestyle. Perhaps the Pompeii part of 6th grade social studies is what led to toga parties. I don't know - I've never been to a toga party. I have, however, been to Alaska and visited Inuit there. I didn't join them to live there the rest of my life, though.

Perhaps what people really fear is that a broad public school education will counteract the narrow training they give their children at home. It may really be about control - if we limit a child's knowledge, the child will only see limited options as an adult.

"Train children in the right way, and when old, they will not stray." - Proverbs 22:6

So what is the right way? Is it the way of judgment of others, or of love for others?

It saddens me that people who are followers of Jesus need the help of public schools to teach their children to love their neighbors. Parents, teach your children to do what you believe is right - but also teach them the love that Jesus had for others - even (perhaps especially) for those who were scorned.

References:

• http://www.huffingtonpost.com/james-heffernan/why-not-ask-presidential-_b_66683.html
• http://www.bilerico.com/2007/10/antigays_protecting_gay_kids_worse_than.php
• http://www.newday.com/films/Its_Elementary.html
• http://www.bilerico.com/2007/10/its_still_elementary.php

In Colossians, Paul speaks of marriage: "And you husbands must love your wives and never treat them harshly."

So what of same-sex relationships? There are some who refuse to recognize same-sex relationships, but a failure to acknowledge something has not effect on whether it exists.

There is abuse in some same-sex relationships - both Lesbian and gay. Unfortunately, few domestic abuse shelters are equipped to deal with women abused by women, or men abused by anyone.

In the case of women abused by female partners, shelters rarely have programs to help a woman deal with physical, sexual, verbal, and psychological abuse by a female spouse. The assumption that women are beaten by men often runs high, and a Lesbian may find such a shelter to be a poor fit. The offender programs are generally geared toward men, and often - for the comfort and openness of sharing -  do not allow women to attend.

In the case of men abused by male partners, the options are almost universally non-existent. It is rare indeed to find a shelter for abused men - whether the offender was male or female. And an offender program for men who abuse women may be hostile to a gay man.

Fortunately, awareness of this problem is increasing. As reported in the Miami Herald, training for health care professionals has begun. Knowing that domestic abuse can happen in any kind of relationship is the first step toward recognition and intervention - and eventually, recovery.

Am I my brother's (or sister's) keeper? While Cain asked that about the very brother he killed, we can all ask that about any person who is abused. We must recognize our connectedness as God's creations and work to protect each other.

And for persons being abused by a same-sex partner: please seek help. Although help may be scarce, it does exist. Do not give up hope. Tell your physician, police, hospital workers, therapist - tell someone.

We are all created in God's image. Do not allow anyone to be abused.

References: http://miamiherald.typepad.com/gaysouthflorida/2007/10/doctors-shed-li.html

Today is the day.

The challenge is before us is to more honestly share who we truly are: with ourselves, with our families, with our friends, with the world.

Yeshua says: Whoever knows everything but himself, lacks everything.
- Gospel of Thomas, 67

It is important that we know and accept who we are. Self-denial is an affront to the one who created us, and to ourselves. If we love our creator, we will not deny that creation. If we love that creation - ourselves - we will also not deny it.

If we are out to ourselves, we have only just begun. We may love ourselves enough to acknowledge who we are, but we must also love our neighbors as ourselves. That means being honest about our stories, our lives, our identities.

Coming out is a continuous process. Although we mark today as a time to come out, we must always be willing to share the truth about ourselves with others. Rather than inventing lies about a mundane life, we can tell the truth about our passions, our strengths, and our weaknesses.

Coming out is not easy. It brings anxiety, and at times it is risky. Yet believers are not called to quiet safety, and prophets are not called to silence. We - gay, Lesbian, bisexual, transgender, intersex, queer, questioning, supportive, and leather; conservative and progressive; Christian, Muslim, Jewish, Buddhist, Taoist, Hindu, Pagan and Wiccan; grandparents, parents, children, and grandchildren; we must share what we have been given.

Do not withhold the beauty that is you. Celebrate the unique creation you are.

National Coming Out Day is October 11.

Sure, there are some great reasons to come out - about anything.

But before we decide to tell the world your secret, it's important to consider a few things:

1. Will this affect others?

Although we may be ready to come out, our friends and family may not. It is important to come out first to those close to us, before springing the news on the world. Our loved ones deserve to hear it first hand.

Our loved ones also deserve to be a part of the discussion on coming out. Although the decisions are still ours, our friends and family need to be able to talk with us about it.

2. Is this dangerous?

There are times when coming out can adversely affect our lives. We have to consider the risks, and whether we're willing to take them.

We must ask ourselves about the people to whom we're coming out. Will they be a physical threat to us? Will our homes and livelihoods be threatened? If so, how will they be threatened? And how will we deal with these threats?

As exhilarating as the feeling must be, we must "count the cost" of living openly.
 

3. Am I ready?

Coming out - about any aspect of our lives - is rarely done all at once. We must admit to ourselves who we are. Then we may come out to some close, trusted friends or relatives, or perhaps a professional counselor. Coming out is not a one-time event - it is an ongoing process of self-discovery and sharing.

Consider these things in anticipation of National Coming Out Day. Try to not overreach. Instead, try to gradually broaden your boundaries.

Yesterday, I showed what trouble we can avoid by coming out.

Today I'd like to examine some of the benefits.

Being honest - or at least not hiding - aspects of our lives can reduce stress. Stress can lead to heart disease, insomnia, weight gain, and many other medical issues, so this is not a trivial benefit.

For those of us who are single, coming out offers more opportunities to meet those with whom we might want to partner. Greater choice means we may find better matches and happier home lives.

Note that the above can apply to closet Barbie collectors, closet Buddhists, or any other group of people.

Add a study shows that, statistically, gay and lesbian people who come out have stronger careers.

Being honest about who we are and what we do can keep us from living double lives that take an incredible amount of energy to maintain.

National Coming Out Day is October 11.

References:

• http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2007/10/08/gays-who-are-out-of-the-closet-at-work-have-stronger-careers/

I gave you all a break on Sunday, but it's time to resume preparation for National Coming Out Day.

OK, so I'm gay. Or Republican. Or transgender. Or I like to gossip. Why not stay in the closet?

There are certainly advantages to being in the closet. There aren't a lot of questions to answer. You don't have to worry about people criticizing you.

All you have to worry about is being found out.

Brian Wingfield has an interesting article on sex scandals - and the publicity that surrounds them - in Forbes. But it's not just notoriety one risks.

Repressing an important aspect of one's life can lead people to behave in erratic ways, such as text messaging young people, seeking sexual partners in parks and public bathrooms, and patronizing prostitutes. And if this sort of behavior comes to light, the fallout can be enormous. Representative Mark Foley resigned from Congress in disgrace. Ted Haggard lost his ministry.

In addition to the personal losses these men incurred, their families, friends, and constituents or parishioners also suffered by being put at risk and by feeling betrayed  by trusted leaders.

How great can the toll be?

Michael Crawford reports that a 55 year old man killed himself rather than face the consequences of being caught in a park sex sting.


The toll can be quite high, but even the less controversial parts of our lives can wreak havoc.

We might just keep quiet about where we stand politically, so as to not lose standing with friends. Yet how does it feel to listen to people say things with which you disagree, talking to you as if you were with them on the issues? We don't have to get in big arguments, but we're often afraid to just say "well, I feel differently".

In the third chapter of the Gospel of John we read

19This is the verdict: Light has come into the world, but men loved darkness instead of light because their deeds were evil. 20Everyone who does evil hates the light, and will not come into the light for fear that his deeds will be exposed. 21But whoever lives by the truth comes into the light, so that it may be seen plainly that what he has done has been done through God.

Whether or not we are ashamed of the things we do, we should bring them to the light. We cannot at the same time condemn something and secretly do the same thing.

Had these men, who so loathed homosexuality, merely admitted they struggled with it, their lives would have been much healthier.

When we are ashamed, we should admit what we do and who we are and get help.

When we are not ashamed, we should celebrate what we do and who we are.

If instead we hide what we do and who we are, we deny ourselves, harming ourselves and those around us.

National Coming Out Day is October 11.

References:

• http://www.forbes.com/business/2007/10/06/politics-politicians-sex-biz-wash-cx_bw_1008sexscandals.html
• http://www.bilerico.com/2007/10/man_commits_suicide_after_tennessee_park.php