Entries tagged with “coming out” from Trans-cendental
I attempted to register for a class at Northern Baptist Seminary.
The seminary I attend, Chicago Theological Seminary (CTS), is part of the Association of Chicago Theological Schools (ACTS), which "was formed in 1984 by twelve theological schools located in the Chicago area to provide means for cooperation among the member institutions in the areas of student cross-registration, library access and acquisitions, interchange among faculty members in the disciplines of theological education, and communications between the schools." - http://www.actschicago.org/index.html
Students at ACTS schools may register at other ACTS schools:
Now, granted, there is a stated exception:
I attempted to cross-register for a class at Northern Baptist Seminary (which has the awesome domain name of seminary.edu). I was aware that the seminary was more conservative, and I did not expect it to be easy to take a class there. But I was willing to sit with far more conservative students in a far more conservative school, in part to keep from having my graduation date from being pushed back another two years, and in part because I do not want to be estranged from my more conservative brothers and sisters in Christ.
I didn't want to go stealthily into the seminary for several reasons. First, I am not ashamed of who I am, nor the path taken to get here. While I don't advertise my sexual orientation or transgender history to everyone, I don't take steps to hide these parts of my life either. To do so is to walk in shadow, and I prefer to be in the light.
Second, to hide an aspect of one's life can result in feelings of betrayal should the secret be found out. It is damaging to a relationship when trust is broken: witness what happened with Ted Haggard.
Third, even if the secret is never found out (unlikely as a simple web search will find enough information about me), keeping a secret from those with whom one is in relationship creates an inauthentic, dysfunctional, and, dare I say it, sinful relationship.
So, to be as honest and authentic as possible in my relationship to the class, I sent e-mail to the professor teaching the class. I explained my background (Evangelical Free, Bible Students, Universal Fellowship of Metropolitan Community Churches, and United Church of Christ), my school affiliation (CTS), and my sexual orientation and transgender history. I asked for advice on what I could do to make the situation easier for everyone involved.
I did not expect the culture clash to be easy. I also did not expect, however, to be rejected from taking any classes whatsoever.
My e-mail to the instructor was apparently forwarded to the administration who, in a very polite but firm e-mail, explained to me that the school's admission policy is applied to cross-registered students. The seminary, in their catalog, under code of conduct, states:
Northern Baptist may believe my twenty-one year relationship with my spouse to be sinful and unChristian. They may believe my transition, twenty-five years ago, to living as my identified gender to be a violation of Deuteronomy 22:5.
They may well object to my behavior off school grounds, but they were not going to change that by rejecting my cross-registration. They can't make me a straight white male again by denying me the chance to study with their professor and students.
So exactly what is sinful or harmful about my taking a class at their school? Exactly what is made worse by my presence there?
At their school, I'm certainly going to hear about their viewpoint on homosexuality and transgender issues - especially since the class I was going to take was on the Pentateuch, which includes Leviticus and Deuteronomy. Were they afraid that I would rebut the reading of the few verses applied to homosexuals as they were glossing over the dietary laws, mixing of fabrics, wearing of tassels, uncleanness of women during their periods and after giving birth, trimming of beards, and the Jubilee year? Were they concerned that I would point out that Levitical law says nothing about Lesbian relationships? Did they worry that I would point out that the word "know" in Genesis 19:5 is the same as the word "know" in Genesis 18:19? (I really wasn't planning on it.)
And, perhaps more to the point, how is this following Jesus' example? Did Jesus teach only the holy? Did Jesus not teach prostitutes, lepers, tax collectors, Samaritans, Syrophoenicians, Roman soldiers, and (at the cross) thieves and murderers?
I am disappointed that Northern Baptist Seminary chose to not honor its covenant with the Association of Chicago Theological Schools.
I am also sad that sixty faculty and staff are more afraid of me than I am of them.
The seminary I attend, Chicago Theological Seminary (CTS), is part of the Association of Chicago Theological Schools (ACTS), which "was formed in 1984 by twelve theological schools located in the Chicago area to provide means for cooperation among the member institutions in the areas of student cross-registration, library access and acquisitions, interchange among faculty members in the disciplines of theological education, and communications between the schools." - http://www.actschicago.org/index.html
Students at ACTS schools may register at other ACTS schools:
Available to the approximately 3,000 students currently enrolled at its member schools are 400 faculty, about 900 courses offered annually, and library collections of 1.7 million volumes and nearly 5,000 currently received periodical subscriptions.Except, in the case of at least one school, if you're gay.
- http://www.actschicago.org/index.html
Now, granted, there is a stated exception:
Exceptions to the process of cross-registration exist (1) during the summer term when tuition is normally paid to the school offering the course; (2) for D.Min. courses other than Pastoral Care and Counseling and for those students in the ACTS D.Min. in Preaching Program; and (3) in certain courses with limited enrollment. Each school in ACTS reserves the right to limit enrollment in certain courses for pedagogical reasons and to set its own policies for the admission of students from other schools to such courses.
- http://www.actschicago.org/catalog2009/cat06.html#how, emphases mine.
I attempted to cross-register for a class at Northern Baptist Seminary (which has the awesome domain name of seminary.edu). I was aware that the seminary was more conservative, and I did not expect it to be easy to take a class there. But I was willing to sit with far more conservative students in a far more conservative school, in part to keep from having my graduation date from being pushed back another two years, and in part because I do not want to be estranged from my more conservative brothers and sisters in Christ.
I didn't want to go stealthily into the seminary for several reasons. First, I am not ashamed of who I am, nor the path taken to get here. While I don't advertise my sexual orientation or transgender history to everyone, I don't take steps to hide these parts of my life either. To do so is to walk in shadow, and I prefer to be in the light.
Second, to hide an aspect of one's life can result in feelings of betrayal should the secret be found out. It is damaging to a relationship when trust is broken: witness what happened with Ted Haggard.
Third, even if the secret is never found out (unlikely as a simple web search will find enough information about me), keeping a secret from those with whom one is in relationship creates an inauthentic, dysfunctional, and, dare I say it, sinful relationship.
So, to be as honest and authentic as possible in my relationship to the class, I sent e-mail to the professor teaching the class. I explained my background (Evangelical Free, Bible Students, Universal Fellowship of Metropolitan Community Churches, and United Church of Christ), my school affiliation (CTS), and my sexual orientation and transgender history. I asked for advice on what I could do to make the situation easier for everyone involved.
I did not expect the culture clash to be easy. I also did not expect, however, to be rejected from taking any classes whatsoever.
My e-mail to the instructor was apparently forwarded to the administration who, in a very polite but firm e-mail, explained to me that the school's admission policy is applied to cross-registered students. The seminary, in their catalog, under code of conduct, states:
In matters related to homosexuality:
1. Northern will not knowingly admit as a student any person having a homosexual lifestyle.
2. If, without the knowledge of the Admissions Committee, a person is admitted to the Seminary and is found not to be a practicing homosexual, but to be striving to overcome homosexual tendencies, such a person will, in Christian love, be counseled to obtain the best help available so that with the power of God such a person may overcome the problem.
3. If, without the knowledge of the Admissions Committee, a practicing homosexual is found to have been admitted to the Seminary, when such knowledge is discovered, such said practicing homosexual would be counseled to seek education elsewhere and to enter some other vocation, and failing voluntary withdrawal from Northern, would be disallowed to continue at the Seminary.
4. In no case would the Seminary recommend for ordination or for ministry any practicing homosexual or an advocate of a homosexual lifestyle.
This means they are reinterpreting the ACTS policy to say:5. Congruent with its policy of institutional integrity, Northern Baptist Seminary will not hire a practicing homosexual or an advocate of a homosexual lifestyle, and it reserves the right to dismiss from employment any such person on the grounds that it would conflict with the purpose of the institution.
- http://www.seminary.edu/about/PDFs/Seminary%20Catalog%202008-2009%20Revised.pdf
Each school in ACTS reserves the right to limit enrollment in all courses for pedagogical reasons and to set its own policies for the admission of students from other schools to all courses.This in order to prevent any homosexuals from taking any courses at their school, ever.
Northern Baptist may believe my twenty-one year relationship with my spouse to be sinful and unChristian. They may believe my transition, twenty-five years ago, to living as my identified gender to be a violation of Deuteronomy 22:5.
They may well object to my behavior off school grounds, but they were not going to change that by rejecting my cross-registration. They can't make me a straight white male again by denying me the chance to study with their professor and students.
So exactly what is sinful or harmful about my taking a class at their school? Exactly what is made worse by my presence there?
At their school, I'm certainly going to hear about their viewpoint on homosexuality and transgender issues - especially since the class I was going to take was on the Pentateuch, which includes Leviticus and Deuteronomy. Were they afraid that I would rebut the reading of the few verses applied to homosexuals as they were glossing over the dietary laws, mixing of fabrics, wearing of tassels, uncleanness of women during their periods and after giving birth, trimming of beards, and the Jubilee year? Were they concerned that I would point out that Levitical law says nothing about Lesbian relationships? Did they worry that I would point out that the word "know" in Genesis 19:5 is the same as the word "know" in Genesis 18:19? (I really wasn't planning on it.)
And, perhaps more to the point, how is this following Jesus' example? Did Jesus teach only the holy? Did Jesus not teach prostitutes, lepers, tax collectors, Samaritans, Syrophoenicians, Roman soldiers, and (at the cross) thieves and murderers?
I am disappointed that Northern Baptist Seminary chose to not honor its covenant with the Association of Chicago Theological Schools.
I am also sad that sixty faculty and staff are more afraid of me than I am of them.
Today is the day.
The challenge is before us is to more honestly share who we truly are: with ourselves, with our families, with our friends, with the world.
If we are out to ourselves, we have only just begun. We may love ourselves enough to acknowledge who we are, but we must also love our neighbors as ourselves. That means being honest about our stories, our lives, our identities.
Coming out is a continuous process. Although we mark today as a time to come out, we must always be willing to share the truth about ourselves with others. Rather than inventing lies about a mundane life, we can tell the truth about our passions, our strengths, and our weaknesses.
Coming out is not easy. It brings anxiety, and at times it is risky. Yet believers are not called to quiet safety, and prophets are not called to silence. We - gay, Lesbian, bisexual, transgender, intersex, queer, questioning, supportive, and leather; conservative and progressive; Christian, Muslim, Jewish, Buddhist, Taoist, Hindu, Pagan and Wiccan; grandparents, parents, children, and grandchildren; we must share what we have been given.
Do not withhold the beauty that is you. Celebrate the unique creation you are.
National Coming Out Day is October 11.
The challenge is before us is to more honestly share who we truly are: with ourselves, with our families, with our friends, with the world.
Yeshua says: Whoever knows everything but himself, lacks everything.It is important that we know and accept who we are. Self-denial is an affront to the one who created us, and to ourselves. If we love our creator, we will not deny that creation. If we love that creation - ourselves - we will also not deny it.
- Gospel of Thomas, 67
If we are out to ourselves, we have only just begun. We may love ourselves enough to acknowledge who we are, but we must also love our neighbors as ourselves. That means being honest about our stories, our lives, our identities.
Coming out is a continuous process. Although we mark today as a time to come out, we must always be willing to share the truth about ourselves with others. Rather than inventing lies about a mundane life, we can tell the truth about our passions, our strengths, and our weaknesses.
Coming out is not easy. It brings anxiety, and at times it is risky. Yet believers are not called to quiet safety, and prophets are not called to silence. We - gay, Lesbian, bisexual, transgender, intersex, queer, questioning, supportive, and leather; conservative and progressive; Christian, Muslim, Jewish, Buddhist, Taoist, Hindu, Pagan and Wiccan; grandparents, parents, children, and grandchildren; we must share what we have been given.
Do not withhold the beauty that is you. Celebrate the unique creation you are.
National Coming Out Day is October 11.
Sure, there are some great reasons to come out - about anything.
But before we decide to tell the world your secret, it's important to consider a few things:
1. Will this affect others?
Consider these things in anticipation of National Coming Out Day. Try to not overreach. Instead, try to gradually broaden your boundaries.
But before we decide to tell the world your secret, it's important to consider a few things:
1. Will this affect others?
Although we may be ready to come out, our friends and family may not. It is important to come out first to those close to us, before springing the news on the world. Our loved ones deserve to hear it first hand.2. Is this dangerous?
Our loved ones also deserve to be a part of the discussion on coming out. Although the decisions are still ours, our friends and family need to be able to talk with us about it.
There are times when coming out can adversely affect our lives. We have to consider the risks, and whether we're willing to take them.3. Am I ready?
We must ask ourselves about the people to whom we're coming out. Will they be a physical threat to us? Will our homes and livelihoods be threatened? If so, how will they be threatened? And how will we deal with these threats?
As exhilarating as the feeling must be, we must "count the cost" of living openly.
Coming out - about any aspect of our lives - is rarely done all at once. We must admit to ourselves who we are. Then we may come out to some close, trusted friends or relatives, or perhaps a professional counselor. Coming out is not a one-time event - it is an ongoing process of self-discovery and sharing.
Consider these things in anticipation of National Coming Out Day. Try to not overreach. Instead, try to gradually broaden your boundaries.
Yesterday, I showed what trouble we can avoid by coming out.
Today I'd like to examine some of the benefits.
Being honest - or at least not hiding - aspects of our lives can reduce stress. Stress can lead to heart disease, insomnia, weight gain, and many other medical issues, so this is not a trivial benefit.
For those of us who are single, coming out offers more opportunities to meet those with whom we might want to partner. Greater choice means we may find better matches and happier home lives.
Note that the above can apply to closet Barbie collectors, closet Buddhists, or any other group of people.
Add a study shows that, statistically, gay and lesbian people who come out have stronger careers.
Being honest about who we are and what we do can keep us from living double lives that take an incredible amount of energy to maintain.
National Coming Out Day is October 11.
References:
Today I'd like to examine some of the benefits.
Being honest - or at least not hiding - aspects of our lives can reduce stress. Stress can lead to heart disease, insomnia, weight gain, and many other medical issues, so this is not a trivial benefit.
For those of us who are single, coming out offers more opportunities to meet those with whom we might want to partner. Greater choice means we may find better matches and happier home lives.
Note that the above can apply to closet Barbie collectors, closet Buddhists, or any other group of people.
Add a study shows that, statistically, gay and lesbian people who come out have stronger careers.
Being honest about who we are and what we do can keep us from living double lives that take an incredible amount of energy to maintain.
National Coming Out Day is October 11.
References:
I gave you all a break on Sunday, but it's time to resume preparation for National Coming Out Day.
OK, so I'm gay. Or Republican. Or transgender. Or I like to gossip. Why not stay in the closet?
There are certainly advantages to being in the closet. There aren't a lot of questions to answer. You don't have to worry about people criticizing you.
All you have to worry about is being found out.
Brian Wingfield has an interesting article on sex scandals - and the publicity that surrounds them - in Forbes. But it's not just notoriety one risks.
Repressing an important aspect of one's life can lead people to behave in erratic ways, such as text messaging young people, seeking sexual partners in parks and public bathrooms, and patronizing prostitutes. And if this sort of behavior comes to light, the fallout can be enormous. Representative Mark Foley resigned from Congress in disgrace. Ted Haggard lost his ministry.
In addition to the personal losses these men incurred, their families, friends, and constituents or parishioners also suffered by being put at risk and by feeling betrayed by trusted leaders.
How great can the toll be?
Michael Crawford reports that a 55 year old man killed himself rather than face the consequences of being caught in a park sex sting.
The toll can be quite high, but even the less controversial parts of our lives can wreak havoc.
We might just keep quiet about where we stand politically, so as to not lose standing with friends. Yet how does it feel to listen to people say things with which you disagree, talking to you as if you were with them on the issues? We don't have to get in big arguments, but we're often afraid to just say "well, I feel differently".
In the third chapter of the Gospel of John we read
Had these men, who so loathed homosexuality, merely admitted they struggled with it, their lives would have been much healthier.
When we are ashamed, we should admit what we do and who we are and get help.
When we are not ashamed, we should celebrate what we do and who we are.
If instead we hide what we do and who we are, we deny ourselves, harming ourselves and those around us.
National Coming Out Day is October 11.
References:
OK, so I'm gay. Or Republican. Or transgender. Or I like to gossip. Why not stay in the closet?
There are certainly advantages to being in the closet. There aren't a lot of questions to answer. You don't have to worry about people criticizing you.
All you have to worry about is being found out.
Brian Wingfield has an interesting article on sex scandals - and the publicity that surrounds them - in Forbes. But it's not just notoriety one risks.
Repressing an important aspect of one's life can lead people to behave in erratic ways, such as text messaging young people, seeking sexual partners in parks and public bathrooms, and patronizing prostitutes. And if this sort of behavior comes to light, the fallout can be enormous. Representative Mark Foley resigned from Congress in disgrace. Ted Haggard lost his ministry.
In addition to the personal losses these men incurred, their families, friends, and constituents or parishioners also suffered by being put at risk and by feeling betrayed by trusted leaders.
How great can the toll be?
Michael Crawford reports that a 55 year old man killed himself rather than face the consequences of being caught in a park sex sting.
The toll can be quite high, but even the less controversial parts of our lives can wreak havoc.
We might just keep quiet about where we stand politically, so as to not lose standing with friends. Yet how does it feel to listen to people say things with which you disagree, talking to you as if you were with them on the issues? We don't have to get in big arguments, but we're often afraid to just say "well, I feel differently".
In the third chapter of the Gospel of John we read
19This is the verdict: Light has come into the world, but men loved darkness instead of light because their deeds were evil. 20Everyone who does evil hates the light, and will not come into the light for fear that his deeds will be exposed. 21But whoever lives by the truth comes into the light, so that it may be seen plainly that what he has done has been done through God.Whether or not we are ashamed of the things we do, we should bring them to the light. We cannot at the same time condemn something and secretly do the same thing.
Had these men, who so loathed homosexuality, merely admitted they struggled with it, their lives would have been much healthier.
When we are ashamed, we should admit what we do and who we are and get help.
When we are not ashamed, we should celebrate what we do and who we are.
If instead we hide what we do and who we are, we deny ourselves, harming ourselves and those around us.
National Coming Out Day is October 11.
References:
We all have things about us which we'd like to change. But it's critical that we own these things about ourselves as well. Whether they can be changed or not, we need to accept that these are things about ourselves.
I deal with low self-esteem and anxiety. I can choose to deny this, but it won't help me.
What happens when we live in denial? At the very least, we fail to deal with the very issues that trouble us. At the worst, we're caught in hypocrisy.
People have laughed at Rep. Mark Foley (R-Fla.), Reverend Ted Haggard, Florida State Rep. Bob Allen , Louisiana St. Bernard Parish Councilman Joey DiFatta, and others. Yet a compassionate heart recognizes these people have lived in fear and denial, unable to find a healthy way to deal with an important part of their lives. The better choice is to pray for these men, that they will come to come out to themselves - to recognize their same-sex attraction. Recognizing an issue is the first step to dealing with it.
So what are you hiding? What's your secret?
You don't have to tell me.
You don't have to tell anyone.
Except yourself.
I deal with low self-esteem and anxiety. I can choose to deny this, but it won't help me.
What happens when we live in denial? At the very least, we fail to deal with the very issues that trouble us. At the worst, we're caught in hypocrisy.
People have laughed at Rep. Mark Foley (R-Fla.), Reverend Ted Haggard, Florida State Rep. Bob Allen , Louisiana St. Bernard Parish Councilman Joey DiFatta, and others. Yet a compassionate heart recognizes these people have lived in fear and denial, unable to find a healthy way to deal with an important part of their lives. The better choice is to pray for these men, that they will come to come out to themselves - to recognize their same-sex attraction. Recognizing an issue is the first step to dealing with it.
So what are you hiding? What's your secret?
You don't have to tell me.
You don't have to tell anyone.
Except yourself.
Coming out part I: Coming Out to Yourself.
Who are you?
Really?
Think about all the dimensions of who you are. Consider using adjectives instead of nouns. Adjectives describe aspects of yourself; nouns label and categorize.
Explore the things you enjoy, the things that are important to you, the things that hold special meaning.
Coming out is not just about sexual or gender identity.
Maybe everyone knows you're gay, but no one knows you're a Republican.
Or a Christian.
Or a stamp collector.
Take this opportunity to get to know yourself.
Jesus taught his followers to love each other as they loved themselves. It's time to raise that bar - to love ourselves and others more.
National Coming Out Day is October 11.
Who are you?
Really?
Think about all the dimensions of who you are. Consider using adjectives instead of nouns. Adjectives describe aspects of yourself; nouns label and categorize.
Explore the things you enjoy, the things that are important to you, the things that hold special meaning.
Coming out is not just about sexual or gender identity.
Maybe everyone knows you're gay, but no one knows you're a Republican.
Or a Christian.
Or a stamp collector.
Take this opportunity to get to know yourself.
Jesus taught his followers to love each other as they loved themselves. It's time to raise that bar - to love ourselves and others more.
National Coming Out Day is October 11.
It's only one week before October 11, National Coming Out Day. It's time to consider coming out. It's time to own who we are.
We are straight, gay, bisexual, lesbian, and asexual.
We are women, men, and combinations of these social ideas.
We have bodies and genes and chromosomes that neatly line up as "male" or "female" - or not.
And we are wonderfully made in God's image.
Who are we to deny what God has made in us? Who are we to hide what we are born to be? Who are we to publicly deny God's gift to us?
Who are we to be ashamed of God's work?
Who are you?
We are straight, gay, bisexual, lesbian, and asexual.
We are women, men, and combinations of these social ideas.
We have bodies and genes and chromosomes that neatly line up as "male" or "female" - or not.
And we are wonderfully made in God's image.
Who are we to deny what God has made in us? Who are we to hide what we are born to be? Who are we to publicly deny God's gift to us?
Who are we to be ashamed of God's work?
Who are you?
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