Entries tagged with “family” from Trans-cendental
I originally posted this on Pam's House Blend
So we now have several states where we can get married.
It's time we start thinking about how to have good, healthy same-sex marriages.
I am no expert, but my partner and I (we've had a Holy Union and are hoping to take an out-of-state nuptial trip next year) have been together for over two decades. I'm going to share what we've learned, and hope some others will share as well.
Progressive churches need to build up support for all families, not just the most common constructions.
(More after the page break. If you're reading this on a mirrored site like community.ucc.org or facebook.com, click the title to see the rest)
So we now have several states where we can get married.
It's time we start thinking about how to have good, healthy same-sex marriages.
I am no expert, but my partner and I (we've had a Holy Union and are hoping to take an out-of-state nuptial trip next year) have been together for over two decades. I'm going to share what we've learned, and hope some others will share as well.
Progressive churches need to build up support for all families, not just the most common constructions.
(More after the page break. If you're reading this on a mirrored site like community.ucc.org or facebook.com, click the title to see the rest)
Continue reading Tips for a happy, life-long same-sex marriage.
Thanks for the birth
And the feeding, and bathing, and changing
And the teaching, and loving
And the worry about my transition
And the eventual acceptance of who I am
And the worry about who I loved
And the acceptance of her into the family
And the worry about my future in the church
I know it is all because you love and care for me.
I love you, Mom.
And the feeding, and bathing, and changing
And the teaching, and loving
And the worry about my transition
And the eventual acceptance of who I am
And the worry about who I loved
And the acceptance of her into the family
And the worry about my future in the church
I know it is all because you love and care for me.
I love you, Mom.
I'm rarely this eloquent, but every once in a while I accidentally say something I feel is worth repeating. The following is from a post I made on a United Church of Christ discussion board:
True, marriage is a legal term in the United States of America, and clergy cannot legally say they are marrying two people unless the state authorizes it. But Adam and Eve, and Cain and his wife, and Seth and his wife, were all married without church or state.
Neither the church, nor state, can prohibit marriage between two people. All they can do is fail to recognize when it happens.
Marriage isn't a piece of paper issued by the government. That paper is legal recognition of a marriage.
Marriage isn't a piece of paper signed by a pastor and/or issued by a church. That paper is a religious recognition of a marriage.
Marriage is a covenant between two adult people to care for, nurture, and love each other. Alone, this is still marriage. Without this, no piece of paper can hold two people together.
True, marriage is a legal term in the United States of America, and clergy cannot legally say they are marrying two people unless the state authorizes it. But Adam and Eve, and Cain and his wife, and Seth and his wife, were all married without church or state.
Neither the church, nor state, can prohibit marriage between two people. All they can do is fail to recognize when it happens.
Ten years ago today, Mary and I promised ourselves to each other in
Holy Union in a church in Oak Park, IL. Twenty years ago, we met in a
bar named Suzy B.'s in Chicago. In those two decades, we dealt with a
lot of things:
Continue reading Happy anniversary, Mary.
(Crossposted on Pam's House Blend)
A friend of mine changed his Facebook status to "...lost his fundamental civil rights today."
This got me thinking: Can we lose our fundamental civil rights?
I thought about the Declaration of Independence:
There is also the ninth amendment to the US Constitution:
A friend of mine changed his Facebook status to "...lost his fundamental civil rights today."
This got me thinking: Can we lose our fundamental civil rights?
I thought about the Declaration of Independence:
We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness. â That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed,Please note that the founders did not say the government created these rights, only secured the rights people already had.
There is also the ninth amendment to the US Constitution:
Amendment 9 - Construction of Constitution. Ratified 12/15/1791. The enumeration in the Constitution, of certain rights, shall not be construed to deny or disparage others retained by the people.So can a law or constitutional amendment remove a person's rights?
Continue reading Why no one lost their rights in the "marriage protection" amendments.
I'm really tired of settling. I'm not interested in incremental rights. I'm not willing to support a candidate who talks out of both sides of his - or her - mouth, speaking on one hand of "protecting marriage" from gays and at the same time "supporting gay and lesbian people" with domestic partnerships or civil unions.
Continue reading Stop settling on same-sex marriage.
John said to him, âTeacher, we saw someone casting out demons in your name, and we tried to stop him, because he was not following us.â But Jesus said, âDo not stop him; for no one who does a deed of power in my name will be able soon afterward to speak evil of me. Whoever is not against us is for us. For truly I tell you, whoever gives you a cup of water to drink because you bear the name of Christ will by no means lose the reward."- Mark 9:38-41
Sometimes we forget to recognize that we're more alike than we are different. Sometimes we let differences in one area keep us from working together in another.
But not Friends Congregational UCC in College Station, Texas. Even though many of the churches that worked with Prison Fellowship were critical of gay and Lesbian persons, this Open and Affirming (OnA) congregation did not let this get in the way of participating in Prison Fellowship's Angel Tree program, which purchased gifts for children of inmates. Though they didn't agree on the sanctity of same-sex relationships, Friends Congregational realized that had nothing to do with helping children at Christmas. They believed in offering hope to kids whose only fault was having a parent who was convicted and imprisoned.
Unfortunately, after several years of participation, Prison Fellowship removed them from the program.
Prison Fellowship specifically refused to allow Friends Congregational UCC to continue to participate in a program to help imprisoned adults offer Christmas gifts to their children because Friends Congregational UCC is Open and Affirming of gay and Lesbian people.
The Rev. Dan De Leon, pastor of Friends Congregational, said the regional office of Prison Fellowship told him that, because the church belongs to the UCC's "Open and Affirming" program, it would not be allowed to participate in the Angel Tree program.
A Senior Vice President of Prison Fellowship said that, out of 12,000 participating churches, only a few congregations have been disqualified, usually due to doctrine on creation or homosexuality.
I doubt the kids - who would not have known which churches were involved, much less the churches' doctrine - would have cared.
"Whoever is not against us is for us. For truly I tell you, whoever gives you a cup of water to drink because you bear the name of Christ will by no means lose the reward."
References:
So the candidates were asked when children should be told about homosexuality. In programs like "It's Elementary", we're not talking about telling kids to be gay, or how to have gay sex. We're talking about different relationships. The fact is that there are kids who have same-sex parents - and it's good to teach kids to not beat up on the ones with same-sex parents, just as it's good to teach them to not beat up on children of divorced parents.
But the way some talk about tolerance, it would seem that it is the worst form of child abuse.
And isn't learning about other people a big part of elementary education? I remember learning about the people of Pompeii and about Umskikuk the Eskimo in Social Studies class. Learning about different people - and to not hate or be afraid of them - is an important part of growing up. After learning to respect people who are different, (we hope) adults will be less likely to attack people based on differences.
Of course, some people are afraid that such programs indoctrinate children into a lifestyle. Perhaps the Pompeii part of 6th grade social studies is what led to toga parties. I don't know - I've never been to a toga party. I have, however, been to Alaska and visited Inuit there. I didn't join them to live there the rest of my life, though.
Perhaps what people really fear is that a broad public school education will counteract the narrow training they give their children at home. It may really be about control - if we limit a child's knowledge, the child will only see limited options as an adult.
"Train children in the right way, and when old, they will not stray." - Proverbs 22:6
So what is the right way? Is it the way of judgment of others, or of love for others?
It saddens me that people who are followers of Jesus need the help of public schools to teach their children to love their neighbors. Parents, teach your children to do what you believe is right - but also teach them the love that Jesus had for others - even (perhaps especially) for those who were scorned.
References:
But the way some talk about tolerance, it would seem that it is the worst form of child abuse.
And isn't learning about other people a big part of elementary education? I remember learning about the people of Pompeii and about Umskikuk the Eskimo in Social Studies class. Learning about different people - and to not hate or be afraid of them - is an important part of growing up. After learning to respect people who are different, (we hope) adults will be less likely to attack people based on differences.
Of course, some people are afraid that such programs indoctrinate children into a lifestyle. Perhaps the Pompeii part of 6th grade social studies is what led to toga parties. I don't know - I've never been to a toga party. I have, however, been to Alaska and visited Inuit there. I didn't join them to live there the rest of my life, though.
Perhaps what people really fear is that a broad public school education will counteract the narrow training they give their children at home. It may really be about control - if we limit a child's knowledge, the child will only see limited options as an adult.
"Train children in the right way, and when old, they will not stray." - Proverbs 22:6
So what is the right way? Is it the way of judgment of others, or of love for others?
It saddens me that people who are followers of Jesus need the help of public schools to teach their children to love their neighbors. Parents, teach your children to do what you believe is right - but also teach them the love that Jesus had for others - even (perhaps especially) for those who were scorned.
References:
In Colossians, Paul speaks of marriage: "And you husbands must love your wives and never treat them harshly."
So what of same-sex relationships? There are some who refuse to recognize same-sex relationships, but a failure to acknowledge something has not effect on whether it exists.
There is abuse in some same-sex relationships - both Lesbian and gay. Unfortunately, few domestic abuse shelters are equipped to deal with women abused by women, or men abused by anyone.
In the case of women abused by female partners, shelters rarely have programs to help a woman deal with physical, sexual, verbal, and psychological abuse by a female spouse. The assumption that women are beaten by men often runs high, and a Lesbian may find such a shelter to be a poor fit. The offender programs are generally geared toward men, and often - for the comfort and openness of sharing - do not allow women to attend.
In the case of men abused by male partners, the options are almost universally non-existent. It is rare indeed to find a shelter for abused men - whether the offender was male or female. And an offender program for men who abuse women may be hostile to a gay man.
Fortunately, awareness of this problem is increasing. As reported in the Miami Herald, training for health care professionals has begun. Knowing that domestic abuse can happen in any kind of relationship is the first step toward recognition and intervention - and eventually, recovery.
Am I my brother's (or sister's) keeper? While Cain asked that about the very brother he killed, we can all ask that about any person who is abused. We must recognize our connectedness as God's creations and work to protect each other.
And for persons being abused by a same-sex partner: please seek help. Although help may be scarce, it does exist. Do not give up hope. Tell your physician, police, hospital workers, therapist - tell someone.
We are all created in God's image. Do not allow anyone to be abused.
References: http://miamiherald.typepad.com/gaysouthflorida/2007/10/doctors-shed-li.html
So what of same-sex relationships? There are some who refuse to recognize same-sex relationships, but a failure to acknowledge something has not effect on whether it exists.
There is abuse in some same-sex relationships - both Lesbian and gay. Unfortunately, few domestic abuse shelters are equipped to deal with women abused by women, or men abused by anyone.
In the case of women abused by female partners, shelters rarely have programs to help a woman deal with physical, sexual, verbal, and psychological abuse by a female spouse. The assumption that women are beaten by men often runs high, and a Lesbian may find such a shelter to be a poor fit. The offender programs are generally geared toward men, and often - for the comfort and openness of sharing - do not allow women to attend.
In the case of men abused by male partners, the options are almost universally non-existent. It is rare indeed to find a shelter for abused men - whether the offender was male or female. And an offender program for men who abuse women may be hostile to a gay man.
Fortunately, awareness of this problem is increasing. As reported in the Miami Herald, training for health care professionals has begun. Knowing that domestic abuse can happen in any kind of relationship is the first step toward recognition and intervention - and eventually, recovery.
Am I my brother's (or sister's) keeper? While Cain asked that about the very brother he killed, we can all ask that about any person who is abused. We must recognize our connectedness as God's creations and work to protect each other.
And for persons being abused by a same-sex partner: please seek help. Although help may be scarce, it does exist. Do not give up hope. Tell your physician, police, hospital workers, therapist - tell someone.
We are all created in God's image. Do not allow anyone to be abused.
References: http://miamiherald.typepad.com/gaysouthflorida/2007/10/doctors-shed-li.html
...our praise band, "Inspiration!", is about to start the prelude for the service at the harvest festival in Forrest.. More later.
So the Arkansas Attorney General decided that a law that said gay people can't adopt was unconstitutional. No matter - the Arkansas legislature went back and said only married couples could adopt.
To put this another way, children may not be adopted by unmarried persons regardless of sexual orientation.
Throughout the Bible - in the Hebrew and Christian books - priests and prophets have spoken of the importance of caring for orphans. Yet Arkansas decided it would be better for these children to be housed in foster and group homes than to find a permanent home with one or more parents.
Children need a loving home. To deny children of the opportunity to be loved is to go against God's law and basic compassion.
Let us put the needs of children first.
References:
To put this another way, children may not be adopted by unmarried persons regardless of sexual orientation.
Throughout the Bible - in the Hebrew and Christian books - priests and prophets have spoken of the importance of caring for orphans. Yet Arkansas decided it would be better for these children to be housed in foster and group homes than to find a permanent home with one or more parents.
Children need a loving home. To deny children of the opportunity to be loved is to go against God's law and basic compassion.
Let us put the needs of children first.
References:
Marriage, it is said in many a wedding homily, is not to be entered into lightly. It is a life-long commitment.
Although gay and lesbian people are often accused of being promiscuous, at least some seem to take marriage as a serious commitment.
A young man named Jonathan Erwin-Frank wrote a powerful essay about marriage. In it, he argues for same-sex marriage for many of the same reasons that opposite-sex couples desire it.
On the other hand, same sex could change marriage.Greta Christina outlines how same-sex marriage could alter the institution - to everyone's benefit.
Same-sex households exist. They are families - some with children, some without. Marriage will strengthen these families. And isn't that what family values are really about?
References:
Although gay and lesbian people are often accused of being promiscuous, at least some seem to take marriage as a serious commitment.
A young man named Jonathan Erwin-Frank wrote a powerful essay about marriage. In it, he argues for same-sex marriage for many of the same reasons that opposite-sex couples desire it.
On the other hand, same sex could change marriage.Greta Christina outlines how same-sex marriage could alter the institution - to everyone's benefit.
Same-sex households exist. They are families - some with children, some without. Marriage will strengthen these families. And isn't that what family values are really about?
References:
- http://www.jsonline.com/story/index.aspx?id=655373
- http://straightnotnarrow.blogspot.com/2007/09/glbt-people-can-believe-in-sanctity-of.html
- http://straightnotnarrow.blogspot.com/2007/09/will-iowa-marriage-ruling-actually-hurt.html
- http://gretachristina.typepad.com/greta_christinas_weblog/2007/10/how-gay-marriag.html
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