Recently in transgender Category

A lot of people are fasting during lent. I'm doing something, too, but I'm not going to make a big deal out of it.

Yet I am planning a year-long fast, and it begins on Easter.

"Easter?" you might ask. "Easter is a FEAST time, not a fast time!"

Indeed, it is.

Easter is a day of celebration, of resurrection, of promise, of transformation. It's the first day of the Easter season, which runs for seven weeks through Pentecost, the traditional birthday of the church. And it is in this time that I will begin my fast.

I'm fasting from the homosexuality and church debate.

More below the fold.

So it's National Coming Out Day again, and with it comes the inevitable calls to come out.

But what does that mean?

I think a lot of people think it means that closeted Gay and Lesbian people need to say "I'm Gay!" to people around them.

Sounds simple, right? People who are not "out" to anyone come "out" to everyone, and it's done.

Wrong.

Sure, this is about people with same-gender sexual orientation, but that's only a slice (albeit a large slice) of the pie - there are also bisexual people, asexual people, transgender people, intersex people, and people who are supportive of those mentioned here.

And yes, people who are harboring a secret can suddenly share that secret with everyone, but that's not how it usually plays out.

Let's start with Gay and Lesbian people.

The first step is coming out to one's self. We've already seen far to many public accounts of people who maintained they were "not homosexual" (even to the point of publicly admonishing gay and lesbian people) but were discovered to be engaging in same-gender sexual relationships. Even after the discovery, many still maintained that they were "not homosexual". The people who've been publicly "outed" are but a small fraction of people struggling with their own sexual orientation.

So perhaps the one important kind of coming out is coming to terms with one's own sexuality and finding a way to be at peace with it. The inner conflict and self denial by those who refuse to accept themselves as who they are is destructive to them, and to those around them (think spouses, children, parishioners, constituents, patients...) Generally, one needs to come out to one's self about sexual orientation only once.

Then we have the step that seems to get the most attention: coming out to "the world". Wait, no, we don't. Almost certainly, once someone comes to one's self, the next step is to come out to a few close people. Why not all at once? Imagine you're Bob's wife. Bob accepts his being gay, then sends an e-mail to everyone he knows, including you. Maybe you don't even get a chance to read the e-mail before people call you to talk to you about it. Awkward doesn't begin to describe this - betrayal, abandonment, and other very hurtful feelings would come flooding in.

So the next step is to carefully come out to those close to you - those who will be most affected by the news.

So now we get to tell everyone, right? Well, maybe. What about your business contacts? What happens if you have clients who are going to stop doing business with your employer if you come out to them? What are your responsibilities to your employer? Did you talk with your supervisor first?

There can be other such situations. I don't mean to suggest that an employment situation should force someone into a closet, but people need to weigh consequences and choose when, where, and how to come out.

OK, but now we come out to everyone, and then it's done, right?

Well, yes, unless you ever meet anyone new. Should Gay and Lesbian people come out to every person they meet?

"Can I take your order?" "

Yes, I'll have a veggie-burger, a diet cola, and I'm gay."

"Drive through please."

We have to decide which relationships are important and enduring enough to warrant coming out. We might want to tell our physician, but maybe not the flight attendant.

OK, that's settled. Gay and Lesbian people need to come out to themselves, then people close to them, then in widening circles until everyone knows (unless it's going to cause trouble), and then keep coming out - but only to people who need to know.

What about bisexual people? I'm not even going to try to discuss this, as 1) I'm not bisexual and 2) there are so many issues of identity here that I don't feel qualified to get into it. I'll merely say that there are people in different-gender and same-gender relationships who identify as bisexual, they may or may not be "out" about their relationship much less their sexual orientation, and there are many ways of being bisexual. If you think you have a working definition of bisexual, talk to some people who identify as bisexual and see whether they agree.

How about people who are asexual? Do we need to know? Do they need for us to keep trying to fix them up with people?

For transgender people, there are also a lot of ways of being. This will not be an exhaustive discussion.

First, there are many gender identifications. Western society privileges Male, then Female as a subordinate gender, and disregards everything else. So there's the complication that many people have a gender identity that defies the socially accepted binary of "man" and "not man".

But working with the binary, those of us who transition from identifying as one of the two Western choices to the other cannot avoid coming out. People are going to know when we transition.

Many have the option of "woodworking" or "going stealth" - that is, after transition, they never mention the transition again. The new people they meet will never know about their pasts. For some, this is important, as they want people to recognize their gender identities rather than identify them as transgender. Some do not have that choice because of something that alerts people to the likelihood they have transitioned.

Some will continue to "come out" as trans to some people. Some will choose to be visibly out to everyone.

Returning to those gender identities that do not conform with binary Western standards, it's difficult - if not impossible - to claim something other than "man" or "woman" and avoid being "out". Not fitting into a box calls attention to the fact that one is not in a box.

Intersex people are born with one of a wide spectrum of situations that place them less than firmly in the "male" or "female" binary physical categories. Do they need to come out? On the one had, we ought to recognize that sex is not as simple as Male vs Female. On the other hand, should we require intersex people to educate us?

And what about those who support GLBTI people? Shouldn't they come out about their support?

And what about those who are against GLBTI people? Shouldn't we know who they are?

What if they're supportive of some but not others?

If you've come to this paragraph feeling unsatisfied about who should come out, how, when, where, and why... well, I'm glad, because no one can write a comprehensive guide to coming out. Coming out is a multidimensional process involving systems of self, family, and society. It can't be boiled down to a simple act.

On this National Coming Out Day, I call on all people to be a little more true to themselves. Sometimes that will be an internal move, sometimes it will involve relationships with others.

No matter what you choose to do on National Coming Out Day, know that you are valuable just as you are.

I have a theory about gender transition.

Before I go any farther, let me say that this is based on my experience and what I have seen in some of my friends. It is not a universal truth of gender transition. It may not even be generally true. I have no study to back this up. I am asking that no one take this as an attack on their process, and that no one use it to describe someone else's experience.

That disclaimer done, here's what I've observed in my own life:

Gender transition often involves hormones. For most of us, when we hit puberty, we get a set of secondary sexual characteristics. For those of us who take some form of hormone therapy, there is a sort of second puberty where we gain the other set of secondary sexual characteristics. (The first set generally remain, although they may diminish slightly.)

Years ago, I came up with a theory about a second psychosocial puberty as well.

Living a transgendered life - that is, projecting an outward gender that society expects while privately identifying as another gender - requires the construction of a character. For me, the tough, athletic male was not an option, so I worked on the studious, intelligent male. In high school I developed a new character that people identified as a "stoner", although I did not actually use drugs or even drink.

The creation and maintenance of these characters takes a lot of time and energy. When I was around other people, I had to play this role, which left little room for me to develop my inner identity.

As I began my social transition, I had to learn a lot of things that I ought have done as a girl (had I a girlhood). Who were my role models? What is appropriate dress? What do I want to be when I grow up? To whom am I attracted?

When I first began thinking about this second psychosocial puberty, I thought it reset me from the age I was (about 24) to about 13. Now I'm thinking it probably reset me to 8 years of age - or earlier.

The problem for me was that I was like an emancipated eight year old with no parents to guide me. No one to tell me "you're not going out of the house dressed like that, young lady". No one to tell me what people were probably not good choices to date. I did a lot of crazy - and sometimes dangerous - things. I dressed in ways that may not have been appropriate for the time and place. I put myself in situations where I was alone with a stranger.

I also had to discover who I really was. This took years. I discovered my sexual orientation. I discovered my desires and fears. I discovered role models, then changed to new role models, then new ones again. I found strengths I never knew I had - in fact, I found I was stronger as a woman than I had ever been as a man.

And, though I had never really lost my faith in God, I found a renewed relationship with my creator - one of real love.

But I was growing up alone, and I made a lot of mistakes. There were probably many times when people thought I was old enough to know better. The truth is, this little girl was still growing up.

As I approach the end of my fifth decade, I still feel at least a decade (maybe two) younger than that. I'm still lagging behind other women my age.

I'm wondering whether any other people have experienced something similar.

And now for something rare on this blog: something you would actually expect here, explicitly transgender and explicitly Christian.

I wrote this for one of my classes, and a former classmate asked for a copy, so I cleaned it up and sent it to him.

As long as I was doing that work, I decided I might as well post it here, in case anyone else found it useful.

If you want it in .rtf format, let me know.

Notes:

• This is a ritual for a person who has chosen a new name, most often when transitioning between one public gender identification and another.

• This ritual is written for a person already well known to a community, who is maintaining a relationship with that community. As such, it is not necessary, nor helpful, to re-establish the old name or gender identification in order to celebrate the new one.

• Spaces are provided for the new name and for pronouns. It is important to ask the person, prior to this ritual, what name and pronouns are preferred. If the choices include less well known pronouns, such as Ze and Hir (see http://web.mit.edu/trans/GenderNeutralPronouns.pdf), the community may need to be educated regarding these prior to such a ritual.

• This ritual is not intended to educate people regarding gender transition. If this is a need in the community, it ought be addressed prior to this ritual.

• If the community has a certificate of membership, name tag, or other such document(s) with the person's name, this is a good opportunity to issue new ones.

• This ritual is a celebration of a person bringing more of himself, herself, or hirself to the relationship with the community. It is not one of nervous anticipation, but one of joy.

The parts marked Leader: are to be read by the pastor or other leader of the community.

The parts marked One: for the one choosing a new name.

The parts marked Community: are for the community at large.

The parts marked Recorder: are for the person who records the names, attendance, and other such information for the community.

[if you're not reading this on my actual blog, find the link to the original post to find the text of the ritual]

Executive summary: There isn't one.

I attempted to register for a class at Northern Baptist Seminary.

The seminary I attend, Chicago Theological Seminary (CTS), is part of the Association of Chicago Theological Schools (ACTS), which "was formed in 1984 by twelve theological schools located in the Chicago area to provide means for cooperation among the member institutions in the areas of student cross-registration, library access and acquisitions, interchange among faculty members in the disciplines of theological education, and communications between the schools."  - http://www.actschicago.org/index.html

Students at ACTS schools may register at other ACTS schools:

Available to the approximately 3,000 students currently enrolled at its member schools are 400 faculty, about 900 courses offered annually, and library collections of 1.7 million volumes and nearly 5,000 currently received periodical subscriptions.
   - http://www.actschicago.org/index.html

Except, in the case of at least one school, if you're gay.

Now, granted, there is a stated exception:

Exceptions to the process of cross-registration exist (1) during the summer term when tuition is normally paid to the school offering the course; (2) for D.Min. courses other than Pastoral Care and Counseling and for those students in the ACTS D.Min. in Preaching Program; and (3) in certain courses with limited enrollment. Each school in ACTS reserves the right to limit enrollment in certain courses for pedagogical reasons and to set its own policies for the admission of students from other schools to such courses.
 - http://www.actschicago.org/catalog2009/cat06.html#how, emphases mine.

I attempted to cross-register for a class at Northern Baptist Seminary (which has the awesome domain name of seminary.edu). I was aware that the seminary was more conservative, and I did not expect it to be easy to take a class there. But I was willing to sit with far more conservative students in a far more conservative school, in part to keep from having my graduation date from being pushed back another two years, and in part because I do not want to be estranged from my more conservative brothers and sisters in Christ.

I didn't want to go stealthily into the seminary for several reasons. First, I am not ashamed of who I am, nor the path taken to get here. While I don't advertise my sexual orientation or transgender history to everyone, I don't take steps to hide these parts of my life either. To do so is to walk in shadow, and I prefer to be in the light.

Second, to hide an aspect of one's life can result in feelings of betrayal should the secret be found out. It is damaging to a relationship when trust is broken: witness what happened with Ted Haggard.

Third, even if the secret is never found out (unlikely as a simple web search will find enough information about me), keeping a secret from those with whom one is in relationship creates an inauthentic, dysfunctional, and, dare I say it, sinful relationship.

So, to be as honest and authentic as possible in my relationship to the class, I sent e-mail to the professor teaching the class. I explained my background (Evangelical Free, Bible Students, Universal Fellowship of Metropolitan Community Churches, and United Church of Christ), my school affiliation (CTS), and my sexual orientation and transgender history. I asked for advice on what I could do to make the situation easier for everyone involved.

I did not expect the culture clash to be easy. I also did not expect, however, to be rejected from taking any classes whatsoever.

My e-mail to the instructor was apparently forwarded to the administration who, in a very polite but firm e-mail, explained to me that the school's admission policy is applied to cross-registered students. The seminary, in their catalog, under code of conduct, states:

In matters related to homosexuality:

1. Northern will not knowingly admit as a student any person having a homosexual lifestyle.

2. If, without the knowledge of the Admissions Committee, a person is admitted to the Seminary and is found not to be a practicing homosexual, but to be striving to overcome homosexual tendencies, such a person will, in Christian love, be counseled to obtain the best help available so that with the power of God such a person may overcome the problem.

3. If, without the knowledge of the Admissions Committee, a practicing homosexual is found to have been admitted to the Seminary, when such knowledge is discovered, such said practicing homosexual would be counseled to seek education elsewhere and to enter some other vocation, and failing voluntary withdrawal from Northern, would be disallowed to continue at the Seminary.

4. In no case would the Seminary recommend for ordination or for ministry any practicing homosexual or an advocate of a homosexual lifestyle.

5. Congruent with its policy of institutional integrity, Northern Baptist Seminary will not hire a practicing homosexual or an advocate of a homosexual lifestyle, and it reserves the right to dismiss from employment any such person on the grounds that it would conflict with the purpose of the institution.
- http://www.seminary.edu/about/PDFs/Seminary%20Catalog%202008-2009%20Revised.pdf

This means they are reinterpreting the ACTS policy to say:

Each school in ACTS reserves the right to limit enrollment in all courses for pedagogical reasons and to set its own policies for the admission of students from other schools to all courses.

This in order to prevent any homosexuals from taking any courses at their school, ever.

Northern Baptist may believe my twenty-one year relationship with my spouse to be sinful and unChristian. They may believe my transition, twenty-five years ago, to living as my identified gender to be a violation of Deuteronomy 22:5.

They may well object to my behavior off school grounds, but they were not going to change that by rejecting my cross-registration. They can't make me a straight white male again by denying me the chance to study with their professor and students.

So exactly what is sinful or harmful about my taking a class at their school? Exactly what is made worse by my presence there?

At their school, I'm certainly going to hear about their viewpoint on homosexuality and transgender issues - especially since the class I was going to take was on the Pentateuch, which includes Leviticus and Deuteronomy. Were they afraid that I would rebut the reading of the few verses applied to homosexuals as they were glossing over the dietary laws, mixing of fabrics, wearing of tassels, uncleanness of women during their periods and after giving birth, trimming of beards, and the Jubilee year? Were they concerned that I would point out that Levitical law says nothing about Lesbian relationships? Did they worry that I would point out that the word "know" in Genesis 19:5 is the same as the word "know" in Genesis 18:19? (I really wasn't planning on it.)

And, perhaps more to the point, how is this following Jesus' example? Did Jesus teach only the holy? Did Jesus not teach prostitutes, lepers, tax collectors, Samaritans, Syrophoenicians, Roman soldiers, and (at the cross) thieves and murderers?

I am disappointed that Northern Baptist Seminary chose to not honor its covenant with the Association of Chicago Theological Schools.

I am also sad that sixty faculty and staff are more afraid of me than I am of them.

Yes, you read that correctly.

April 23, there was a genderqueer celebration at Chicago Theological Seminary. There was also an auction - a fundraiser for "top surgery" for an FTM seminarian.

It was an evening of prayer, drag performances, music, and personal testimonies.

There were at least three trangender seminarians in attendance, and many other LGB seminarians and seminary faculty and staff, not to mention straight-but-supportive seminarians, faculty, and staff.

Most of the big-ticket (read $400-700) auction items went to faculty and staff.

For every heavily funded institution like Bob Jones University, there is a liberal seminary like CTS struggling to prepare progressive religious leaders.

They can use your support.

Three hundred fifty three people.

Three hundred fifty three lives cut short.

Three hundred fifty three incidents of violence and neglect.


I don't like anger. I have seen anger turn to violence, and I do not like the results.

But I am angry.

I am angry because of the loss of three hundred fifty three lives - and more that are unreported.

I am angry because of the violence, abuse, and willful neglect of three hundred fifty three human beings.

I am angry because there are some people who support the killing of these human beings.

I am angry because there are many more people who ignore the killing of these human beings.

Today, on Transgender Day of Remembrance, I will remember my three hundred fifty three brothers and sisters.

I will remember that they have been shot to death, bludgeoned, drowned, strangled, stabbed, repeatedly struck by motor vehicles, fed ground glass, kicked, and refused medical treatment.

And I will remember that they were created in God's image, and that God called them good.

I will cry out:

How many more people must die before we realize we are all one?

How many more people must die before we realize that the violence we do to each other is also violence we do to ourselves?

How many more people must die before we learn to love one another?

Today, on Transgender Day of Remembrance, I will not fear violence because I am a person of transgender experience.

Today I will mourn the loss of my three hundred fifty three lost sisters and brothers, and I will pray for those who would seek to cause us harm.

See a list of transgender persons lost to violence and neglect at http://www.gender.org/remember/

When Tyra Hunter was 24 years old, she was riding in a car in Washington, D.C. Her car was broadsided by another car. She was knocked unconscious due to the collision, but regained consciousness by the time emergency crews arrived. She was still dazed and had respiration problems because some of her teeth had been knocked into her airway.The paramedics went to work on Tyra, but in assessing the injuries they discovered she had male genitals.

At this point, one of the caregivers said "This ain't no bitch. It's a nigger. He's got a dick and balls." The paramedics ceased treating Tyra and instead laughed and joked about her while onlookers demanded they get back to work on her.

Later, after treating another injured passenger, other emergency workers found Tyra gagging and trying to move away from the insulting paramedics. Finally, a supervisor demanded that her airway be cleared.

In addition to these insults and lack of care, she was received at the hospital as "John Doe", given a contraindicated medication, and was not given blood that had been ordered for her. She died from lack of oxygen in her blood.

This is the kind of health care some transgender persons can expect. Value judgments can override common decency and mercy - and the basic job requirements. Amazingly, the District of Columbia defended the paramedics on the basis of their first amendment rights to free speech.

Time and again, I come back to what Jesus taught about how we treat others: "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you". "Love your neighbor as yourself" . The parable of the Good Samaritan, in which the person who acted as a neighbor to a victimized person was the one who didn't even get along with people of his kind. The parable of the sheep and the goats, where Jesus says that as you do to others, you do to him.

And yet, this is what we can expect from some of the people who choose a career in caring for others.

This is not how to do health care.

This is not how to do emergency care.

This is not how to be a Christian.

This is not how to be a human being.

Whatever one's opinion of transgender people, they are people. There is no excuse for allowing people to suffer while we laugh.

My prayer is that the paramedics learn to care for all others, and that they do not need to experience what Tyra did in order to learn it. I would not wish that on my enemies - because I love them.


Trial notes: http://www.gpac.org/im/tyra/tyindex.html



Remembering our dead: http://www.gender.org/remember/.
Transgender Day of Remembrance is November 20.

No commentary today - just the real work concerns of a real human being.
   
http://rebeccaaugephd.blogspot.com/2007/10/returning-to-work-concerns.html