3 days until National Coming Out Day - Why Closets are for Clothes
I gave you all a break on Sunday, but it's time to resume preparation for National Coming Out Day.
OK, so I'm gay. Or Republican. Or transgender. Or I like to gossip. Why not stay in the closet?
There are certainly advantages to being in the closet. There aren't a lot of questions to answer. You don't have to worry about people criticizing you.
All you have to worry about is being found out.
Brian Wingfield has an interesting article on sex scandals - and the publicity that surrounds them - in Forbes. But it's not just notoriety one risks.
Repressing an important aspect of one's life can lead people to behave in erratic ways, such as text messaging young people, seeking sexual partners in parks and public bathrooms, and patronizing prostitutes. And if this sort of behavior comes to light, the fallout can be enormous. Representative Mark Foley resigned from Congress in disgrace. Ted Haggard lost his ministry.
In addition to the personal losses these men incurred, their families, friends, and constituents or parishioners also suffered by being put at risk and by feeling betrayed by trusted leaders.
How great can the toll be?
Michael Crawford reports that a 55 year old man killed himself rather than face the consequences of being caught in a park sex sting.
The toll can be quite high, but even the less controversial parts of our lives can wreak havoc.
We might just keep quiet about where we stand politically, so as to not lose standing with friends. Yet how does it feel to listen to people say things with which you disagree, talking to you as if you were with them on the issues? We don't have to get in big arguments, but we're often afraid to just say "well, I feel differently".
In the third chapter of the Gospel of John we read
Had these men, who so loathed homosexuality, merely admitted they struggled with it, their lives would have been much healthier.
When we are ashamed, we should admit what we do and who we are and get help.
When we are not ashamed, we should celebrate what we do and who we are.
If instead we hide what we do and who we are, we deny ourselves, harming ourselves and those around us.
National Coming Out Day is October 11.
References:
OK, so I'm gay. Or Republican. Or transgender. Or I like to gossip. Why not stay in the closet?
There are certainly advantages to being in the closet. There aren't a lot of questions to answer. You don't have to worry about people criticizing you.
All you have to worry about is being found out.
Brian Wingfield has an interesting article on sex scandals - and the publicity that surrounds them - in Forbes. But it's not just notoriety one risks.
Repressing an important aspect of one's life can lead people to behave in erratic ways, such as text messaging young people, seeking sexual partners in parks and public bathrooms, and patronizing prostitutes. And if this sort of behavior comes to light, the fallout can be enormous. Representative Mark Foley resigned from Congress in disgrace. Ted Haggard lost his ministry.
In addition to the personal losses these men incurred, their families, friends, and constituents or parishioners also suffered by being put at risk and by feeling betrayed by trusted leaders.
How great can the toll be?
Michael Crawford reports that a 55 year old man killed himself rather than face the consequences of being caught in a park sex sting.
The toll can be quite high, but even the less controversial parts of our lives can wreak havoc.
We might just keep quiet about where we stand politically, so as to not lose standing with friends. Yet how does it feel to listen to people say things with which you disagree, talking to you as if you were with them on the issues? We don't have to get in big arguments, but we're often afraid to just say "well, I feel differently".
In the third chapter of the Gospel of John we read
19This is the verdict: Light has come into the world, but men loved darkness instead of light because their deeds were evil. 20Everyone who does evil hates the light, and will not come into the light for fear that his deeds will be exposed. 21But whoever lives by the truth comes into the light, so that it may be seen plainly that what he has done has been done through God.Whether or not we are ashamed of the things we do, we should bring them to the light. We cannot at the same time condemn something and secretly do the same thing.
Had these men, who so loathed homosexuality, merely admitted they struggled with it, their lives would have been much healthier.
When we are ashamed, we should admit what we do and who we are and get help.
When we are not ashamed, we should celebrate what we do and who we are.
If instead we hide what we do and who we are, we deny ourselves, harming ourselves and those around us.
National Coming Out Day is October 11.
References:
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