Recently in Family Saturday Category

I originally posted this on Pam's House Blend

So we now have several states where we can get married.

It's time we start thinking about how to have good, healthy same-sex marriages.

I am no expert, but my partner and I (we've had a Holy Union and are hoping to take an out-of-state nuptial trip next year) have been together for over two decades. I'm going to share what we've learned, and hope some others will share as well.

Progressive churches need to build up support for all families, not just the most common constructions.

(More after the page break. If you're reading this on a mirrored site like community.ucc.org or facebook.com, click the title to see the rest)

I'm rarely this eloquent, but every once in a while I accidentally say something I feel is worth repeating. The following is from a post I made on a United Church of Christ discussion board:

Marriage isn't a piece of paper issued by the government. That paper is legal recognition of a marriage.

Marriage isn't a piece of paper signed by a pastor and/or issued by a church. That paper is a religious recognition of a marriage.

Marriage is a covenant between two adult people to care for, nurture, and love each other. Alone, this is still marriage. Without this, no piece of paper can hold two people together.

True, marriage is a legal term in the United States of America, and clergy cannot legally say they are marrying two people unless the state authorizes it. But Adam and Eve, and Cain and his wife, and Seth and his wife, were all married without church or state.

Neither the church, nor state, can prohibit marriage between two people. All they can do is fail to recognize when it happens.

So the candidates were asked when children should be told about homosexuality. In programs like "It's Elementary", we're not talking about telling kids to be gay, or how to have gay sex. We're talking about different relationships. The fact is that there are kids who have same-sex parents - and it's good to teach kids to not beat up on the ones with same-sex parents, just as it's good to teach them to not beat up on children of divorced parents.

But the way some talk about tolerance, it would seem that it is the worst form of child abuse.

And isn't learning about other people a big part of elementary education? I remember learning about the people of Pompeii and about Umskikuk the Eskimo in Social Studies class. Learning about different people - and to not hate or be afraid of them - is an important part of growing up. After learning to respect people who are different, (we hope) adults will be less likely to attack people based on differences.
 
Of course, some people are afraid that such programs indoctrinate children into a lifestyle. Perhaps the Pompeii part of 6th grade social studies is what led to toga parties. I don't know - I've never been to a toga party. I have, however, been to Alaska and visited Inuit there. I didn't join them to live there the rest of my life, though.

Perhaps what people really fear is that a broad public school education will counteract the narrow training they give their children at home. It may really be about control - if we limit a child's knowledge, the child will only see limited options as an adult.

"Train children in the right way, and when old, they will not stray." - Proverbs 22:6

So what is the right way? Is it the way of judgment of others, or of love for others?

It saddens me that people who are followers of Jesus need the help of public schools to teach their children to love their neighbors. Parents, teach your children to do what you believe is right - but also teach them the love that Jesus had for others - even (perhaps especially) for those who were scorned.

References:

• http://www.huffingtonpost.com/james-heffernan/why-not-ask-presidential-_b_66683.html
• http://www.bilerico.com/2007/10/antigays_protecting_gay_kids_worse_than.php
• http://www.newday.com/films/Its_Elementary.html
• http://www.bilerico.com/2007/10/its_still_elementary.php

So the Arkansas Attorney General decided that a law that said gay people can't adopt was unconstitutional. No matter - the Arkansas legislature went back and said only married couples could adopt.

To put this another way, children may not be adopted by unmarried persons regardless of sexual orientation.

Throughout the Bible - in the Hebrew and Christian books - priests and prophets have spoken of the importance of caring for orphans. Yet Arkansas decided it would be better for these children to be housed in foster and group homes than to find a permanent home with one or more parents.

Children need a loving home. To deny children of the opportunity to be loved is to go against God's law and basic compassion.

Let us put the needs of children first.

References:

• http://www.goodasyou.org/good_as_you/2007/10/ar-ag-gives-go-.html
• http://www.pamshouseblend.com/showDiary.do?diaryId=3182
• http://www.bilerico.com/2007/10/proposed_ban_on_gay_adoptions_in_arkansa.php

Marriage, it is said in many a wedding homily, is not to be entered into lightly. It is a life-long commitment.

Although gay and lesbian people are often accused of being promiscuous, at least some seem to take marriage as a serious commitment.

A young man named Jonathan Erwin-Frank wrote a powerful essay about marriage. In it, he argues for same-sex marriage for many of the same reasons that opposite-sex couples desire it.

On the other hand, same sex could change marriage.Greta Christina outlines how same-sex marriage could alter the institution - to everyone's benefit.

Same-sex households exist. They are families - some with children, some without. Marriage will strengthen these families. And isn't that what family values are really about?

References:

• http://www.jsonline.com/story/index.aspx?id=655373
• http://straightnotnarrow.blogspot.com/2007/09/glbt-people-can-believe-in-sanctity-of.html
• http://straightnotnarrow.blogspot.com/2007/09/will-iowa-marriage-ruling-actually-hurt.html
• http://gretachristina.typepad.com/greta_christinas_weblog/2007/10/how-gay-marriag.html